Blog
Introduction
Gender roles are socially constructed, and women are subordinate to men in all circumstances. Historically, men are the heads of the household while women are their wifely caregivers. For centuries, women did not obtain the basic rights they have today. Unfortunately, this causes toxicity to infiltrate the dynamic. Domestic violence is one example of how too much power on one person can destroy another.
The section above pertains to an underdeveloped social structure. Today, men and women are not the only genders recognized in American society. However, men, especially heterosexual white men, remain superior to any minority. The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) was created for women, but now protects any victim of violence.
The History of VAWA
Domestic violence crimes were finally federally recognized in the United States. According to the Legal Momentum Organization, Congress passed the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA 1994) alongside the Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act of 1994. The protections and provisions of the act were expanded in the Violence Against Women Act of 2000 (VAWA 2000), and the Violence Against Women and Department of Justice Reauthorization Act of 2005 (VAWA 2005).
VAWA 1994 was the first comprehensive federal legislation created to cease violence against women. It included provisions on rape and battering that focused on prevention and funding for victims; it validated women's groups that lobbied for federal protections in states lacking them. The bill was the first to make these crimes federally illegal and required every state to provide protection orders in full faith.
The drafting of VAWA began in 1990. President Joseph Biden (Senator of Deleware at the time) submitted a preliminary proposal highlighting the severity of violence against women to Congress. He collaborated with the Senate Judiciary Committee staff and the Legal Momentum (previously called NOW Legal Defense and Education Fund). As a result, experts and organizations worked together in the Task Force on VAWA to help draft and pass the bill. The Legal Momentum stated, "This initial coalition has become the very large and diverse National Task Force to End Sexual and Domestic Violence, which continues to collaborate to help draft and pass each VAWA reauthorization" (paragraph 3).
The Department of Justice founded the Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) which funded VAWA in 1994 and following legislation. OVW provided financial and technical aid to U.S. communities that created programs, policies, and practices aimed at ceasing domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking. In 2002, OVW became a permanent part of the Department of Justice. Since 1994, OVW granted approximately $4 billion to non-profit programs and state, tribal, and local governments. The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act (2009) included an additional $225 million for OVW funding.
VAWA Today
The initial version of VAWA only supported women. However, the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development answered a frequently asked question about who is covered. It stated, "VAWA protects survivors, regardless of their sex, gender identity, or sexual orientation and regardless of the sex, gender identity or sexual orientation of the person who caused harm." Any "coercive behavior committed, enabled, or solicited to gain or maintain power and control over a victim" is covered under VAWA. Some examples are economic, emotional, mental, physical, sexual, and technological abuse and stalking.
VAWA has gone through several advancements since its original legislation. The most recent amendment of the bill was passed under President Biden's term in 2022. According to the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV), this reauthorization included groundbreaking provisions that were inclusive to any victim. One example was the creation of an LGBTQ+ services program. Another was restoring tribal jurisdiction. The NNEDV stated that this provision "allowed tribes to hold non-Native perpetrators accountable, improved existing housing protections and increased access to emergency and short-term housing, and created dedicated investments in culturally specific service providers to ensure survivors of color are supported" (paragraph 2).
VAWA & VOCA at Sylvia's Place
Additionally, VAWA and VOCA (The Victims of Crime Act) funds Sylvia's Place. According to Equal Justice USA, VOCA was established by Congress in 1984 under President Ronald Reagan and created the Crime Victims' Fund, which collects millions of dollars. The Crime Victims' Fund distributes a set amount annually that states must apply for; states re-grant the funds to nonprofit organizations. Sylvia's Place specifically uses funds from VAWA and VOCA for our six-bedroom emergency shelter, ten free counseling sessions, court accompaniments, legal advocacy, and transportation (company van or gas cards for clients).
Most Recent Annual Report (2022-2023)
See More Annual Reports (2015+)
https://sylviasplace.com/strategic-change-plan/annual-reports/
References
Introduction
Domestic violence and animal abuse intersect with one another more than you may know. This may be because animal abuse is historically separated from domestic abuse. Offenders can find countless ways to go through with the crime, either human or animal. This article will discuss them and more.
How are they linked?
Animals are beloved worldwide, especially pets, whether “a man’s best friend,” an emotionless emotional support cat, or even a greedy hamster. However, have you ever considered easily accessible wild animals, such as a woodchuck? Guess what? Hunting and harming animals can be linked to domestic violence. This is because the human victim is now more accessible than the wild victim.
Many people assume that animal abuse leads to human abuse. This is true for some cases; however, more offenders begin harming humans and then progress to animals. According to the FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin (LEB), one study showed that 16% of offenders began abusing animals before people.
Abusers get creative because they never want their “power” taken away. So what happens when they see even the slightest happiness radiate from their “prey?” Their blood boils like overflowing pasta water. They must destroy and conquer once again. Therefore, abusers will exploit a victim’s bond with their animal to continue manipulating, controlling, and punishing them.
What is considered animal abuse?
Again, abusers need to feel continuous control. They may buy the victim a pet, but take it away when angry. They may threaten, hurt, or kill the animal if the victim says they will leave. You may wonder, well how does that work? “It’s just an animal!” You may say. However, that is not the case and will never be. That “animal” is an animal, sure. However, the main thing is that it supports the victim. In Domestic Violence and Animal Welfare: The Science of Human-animal Interaction, Dolores Donovan shares how loneliness decreases when someone has a pet and sees it as a family, friend, or regular person. This is because the person projects human feelings, motives, and qualities on the animal, resulting in possible social support they would get from another person (Donovan 398). A lot of victims may have support from their families and friends but are too ashamed to tell them about their situation again or for the first time. Other victims may not have that worry at all. No problem is worse or better! Therefore, pets can be the sole support systems; they can’t talk back to you, but merely be there.
Physically harming the animal interferes with the victim psychologically because it can show what the abuser will do to them or remind them of when they were abused. Because of this, victims often remain in the violent relationship. According to LEB, 75% of women have reported their pets being abused by their offenders, with children witnessing 90% of the time. Moreover, studies have proved that 50% of all children are exposed to animal abuse. Nothing comes out of the blue! Therefore, these foul environments increase the risk of children becoming culprits. The LEB says it’s because they become desensitized and accepting of the abuse since it is familiar.
History and Laws Against Animal Cruelty
An animal at risk is a valid reason why a victim will stay with their abuser. Fortunately, many reports led to the Pet and Women Act (PAWS) in December 2018. According to LEB, the legislation provides housing assistance to domestic violence shelters. Also, victims have the will to protect their animals. This includes animals protected from interstate stalking, protection order violations, and restitution.
Also, the Preventing Animal Cruelty and Torture (PACT) Act protects animals from cruelty. Charlie Robinson and Victoria Clausen state that it is, “a federal law that prohibits the purposeful crushing, burning, drowning, suffocation, impalement, or other violent acts committed against animals, allowing the prosecution of crimes that affect interstate commerce or occur under federal jurisdictions” (Clausen, Robinson, 2021). The PACT Act is the first federal animal cruelty law to expand existing ones at the state level. The entire United States charges animal cruelty as a felony. However, penalties change from state to state. Most states only consider cats and dogs as pets, and others include birds, horses, and other animals. In 2016, “the FBI began tracking crimes against animals in the National Incident-Based Reporting System (NIBRS), in the same way it tracks other serious criminal offenses” (ALDF).
Before 2016, animal cruelty was a general crime in NIBRS. The data will help clarify who commits animal cruelty offenses, the most common animal cruelty jurisdictions, and associations with other crimes.
The Animal Legal Defense Fund (ALDF) provides several examples of how animal cruelty and human abuse are linked. In 1983, 88% of animal abuse was discovered during physical child abuse investigations. It is proved that children are most likely neglected and abused if they are cruel to animals. The Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals and Northwestern University found that animal abusers are 5 times as likely to harm people in a 1997 study. Another experiment (2013) showed that 43% of school shooters also committed animal cruelty; the animals were mostly cats and dogs. In 2017, 89% of women reported their pets were threatened, harmed, or killed by their abusers. ALDF reports that “more than half of women in domestic violence shelters report that they delayed their escape out of fear for their animals.” These experiments prove how animal abuse is linked to human abuse, and how it can delay a victim’s escape from an abuser.
Want Quick Facts? Check out this Infographic!
References
Donovan, D. (n.d.). Domestic Violence and Animal Welfare: The Science of Human-Animal Interaction. Pdf Document. Retrieved September 11, 2024, from file:///Users/arlanacamille/Downloads/DV%20and%20Animal%20Welfare%20-%20The%20Science%20of%20Human-Animal%20Interaction.pdf
Robinson, Charlie M.A, M.S., and Victoria Clausen M.A. “The Link Between Animal Cruelty and Human Violence.” Www.Leb.Fbi.Gov, 10 Aug. 2021, leb.fbi.gov/articles/featured-articles/the-link-between-animal-cruelty-and-human-violence. Accessed 11 Sept. 2024.
“The Link Between Animal Cruelty to Animals and Violence Toward Humans.” Www.Aldf.Org, aldf.org/article/the-link-between-cruelty-to-animals-and-violence-toward-humans-2/. Accessed 11 Sept. 2024.
This year marks the 54th anniversary since 1970, when the first Pride March was held in New York City. The queer community has steadily gained the rights it deserves through hardship. June is a month to reflect on and take pride in how far we have come, alongside those who belong to the queer community and those who have fought alongside and continue to support their rights. However, it is important to note that prejudice and mistreatment of the queer community still exist. It is up to queer people to come together to address this issue and continue moving forward every day to secure their rights and live their lives as they deserve.
Here, I want to draw attention to those in the queer community who endure Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) daily without a voice. IPV and Domestic Violence (DV) occur not only among heterosexual couples but also among gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender couples. Statistics show that in some cases, these forms of violence occur at even higher rates than among heterosexual couples. The reality is that they face a lot of stigma and prejudice, making it challenging for them to access the support they need.
Lesbian and Bisexual women are more likely than Heterosexual women to have experienced IPV in their lifetime
The CDC’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS) shows that women (32.9%) are more likely than men (28.1%) to have been victims of partner violence in the past. Within the same statistics, among the queer community, 56% of bisexual women reported experiencing partner violence. Compared to heterosexual women, bisexual women are 1.8 times more likely to experience partner violence. Additionally, 40.4% of lesbian women have been victims of IPV, which is approximately 8% higher than among heterosexual women.
First, there is the issue of silence and prejudice against violence within the queer community. Historically, fear of speaking out against violence has been prevalent among sexual minorities. Not only are queer communities socially marginalized, but they also face various prejudices that hinder speaking out, stemming from fears of exposure regarding their sexuality and doubts about receiving support if they do come forward. For queer women, this challenge is compounded by dual prejudices of misogyny and homophobia when reporting victimization. Additionally, bisexual women may encounter biphobic prejudice within the queer community.
Secondly, traditional feminist views that emphasize masculinity versus femininity can deter queer women from reporting violence. This is due to the stereotype that men are typically perpetrators of IPV and the misconception that women, perceived as physically weaker, do not inflict harm. There is a widespread misunderstanding that IPV is not inherently tied to gender but rather to power dynamics and control within relationships. Regrettably, there is also resistance within feminist circles to actively discuss lesbian IPV, as it may challenge prevailing notions of misogyny and patriarchy-driven abuse typically attributed to men (which could disrupt the woman-versus-man paradigm).
Third, there is a lack of awareness, education, and support services specifically tailored to address IPV within the queer community. Many victims hesitate to leave their abusers because they, along with those around them, perceive IPV as primarily a problem in heterosexual relationships and lack access to support resources that cater to sexual minorities. Many shelters are ill-equipped to assist sexual minority women, leading lesbian and bisexual women to often avoid seeking refuge there. A study by Balsam (2001) revealed that over 60% of lesbian women who were victims of IPV did not leave their partners or seek help from women’s shelters.
Furthermore, the high prevalence of HIV in the queer community exacerbates the situation. HIV-positive IPV victims fear dying alone if they leave their partners, while those with HIV-positive IPV partners feel unable to abandon their sick loved ones. Some victims contract HIV through sexual violence, such as demands for unprotected sex from their partners. Thus, IPV within the queer community carries similar risks as in the heterosexual community, yet specific factors within the queer community suppress victims’ voices in addressing IPV.
What kind of abusive behaviors are included in queer couple？
IPV is abuse or aggression by romantic/sexual partners. Essentially, the same abuses can occur in sexual minority couples as in heterosexual couples. However, queer communities have experienced social stigmas, leading to different manifestations of IPV. There are several specific types of abusive behaviors in IPV among queer couples, including emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, similar to those seen in heterosexual couples.
Please review the following examples:
- Pressuring or threatening a partner to come out or remain closeted
- Saying a partner’s LGBTQ identities are insufficient or excessive
- Denying that IPV exists in queer communities
- Turning mutual friends against a partner
- Physically targeting a partner’s genitals or chest in violence
- Cutting off a partner’s access to hormones
- Denying sexual protections because LGBTQ sex is considered safer
- Isolating a partner using homophobia
These are just a few examples of IPV by abusive partners. If you have experienced similar behaviors from your partner, please talk to your friends, family, or seek support from relevant organizations. You are not alone, and you deserve support and understanding.
Places You Can Consult
Sylvia’s Place 269-673-8700
Youth Support including LGBTQ+ : Ozone House (734) 662-2222
Transgender Support : Transgender Michigan
Shelters/ Safe housing service for LGBTQ+ : Ruth Ellis Center
Immediate Help : Equality Michigan 313-537-7000
Reference
Library of Congress. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer Pride Month. https://www.loc.gov/lgbt-pride-month/about/
Taylor N.T. Brown and Jody L. Herman(2015). Intimate Partner Violence and Sexual Abuse Among LGBT People. A review of existing research. https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/publications/ipv-sex-abuse-lgbt-people/
Rollè L, Giardina G, Caldarera AM, Gerino E, Brustia P(2018). When Intimate Partner Violence Meets Same Sex Couples: A Review of Same Sex Intimate Partner Violence. Front Psychol. 21https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6113571/
National LGBT Health Education Center. Recognizing and Addressing Intimate Partner Violence in Relationships of LGBTQ People:A PRIMER FOR HEALTH CENTERS. https://www.lgbtqiahealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/TFIR-158_Intimate-Partner-Violence-Brief_web_spreads.pdf
HRC Foundation(2022). Understanding Intimate Partner Violence in the LGBTQ+ Community. https://www.hrc.org/resources/understanding-intimate-partner-violence-in-the-lgbtq-community
Balsam K. F. (2001). Nowhere to hide: lesbian battering, homophobia, and minority stress. https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/edit/10.4324/9781315808987-3/nowhere-hide-kimberly-balsam
May is the mental health awareness month! We need to focus on our mental health and increase awareness of how important it is. Mental health is an important part of our lives, however, there is still a stigma associated with mental health and it is looked over compared to physical health. Let’s take a deep breath here, and put our eyes on the mental well-being of ourselves, our families, and our loved ones.
Emotional and psychological abuses are more common in IPV
When you hear the words “intimate partner violence” or “domestic violence,” what immediately comes to mind is physical abuse or sexual assault. In reality, however, in cases of “intimate partner violence,” emotional and psychological abuse is more common and occurs more often than physical abuse. For example, research among North Carolina women (Smith et al., 2002) found that 18.4% of women experienced at least one form of intimate partner abuse. However, of those who experienced some form of abuse, only 1.9% experienced only physical assault, and only 1.1% experienced only sexual assault. In other words, it is not an exaggeration to say that emotional and psychological abuse is more prevalent than physical abuse and occurs more frequently than physical abuse.
What is emotional and psychological abuse?
There is no significant difference between them. It is just said that psychological abuse is a narrower definition than emotional abuse and psychological abuses include manipulative control behavior to the victims. Please look at an example of emotional and psychological abuse.
How does it destroy your mental health?
Survivors often internalize their partner’s verbal abuse. Even if they initially question their partner’s words and actions, as they continue to be verbally abused on a daily basis, they come to believe what their partner is saying. They then internalize the self-denial from others, believing that wrong ideas such as “I am stupid and worthless”. Even after they realize that this was emotional and mental abuse, they blame themselves for their situation and feel anger toward themselves. According to an article by American Phychiatiric Association, approximately 20% of IPV survivors have major depressive disorder (MDD), generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
What are the initial signs we can notice?
Emotional and psychological abuse is often difficult to recognize, especially in the early stages. If there is violent behavior from the beginning, it is not difficult to avoid, but in many cases, there is no particular problem initially. A partner who was kind to you at first may gradually begin to say and do things to mentally control you. Once under the abuser’s control, many victims find it difficult or impossible to get out of the situation. That is why it is important to recognize disturbing signs in the early stages.A person who inflicts emotional or physical abuse on a partner may show the following signs early in the relationship.
These are just a few examples. Emotional and psychological abuse can permeate your relationship with your partner and is difficult to recognize. If you have experienced this form of abuse, do not blame yourself. The abuse is not your fault. Even if your family or friends tell you that you are allowing yourself to be abused, the abuse is not your fault; it is the fault of the abuser. If you are being abused by a partner or family member, it is essential that you seek help and support to end the emotionally or psychologically abusive relationship.
Places Where You Can Consult
Sylvia’s Place 269-673-8700
the U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233
Michigan’s Domestic Violence Hotline (free and confidential resource for victims to call, text or chat) 1-866-VOICEDV
Reference
Lifespan (2024). The Importance of Mental Health Awareness Month. https://www.lifespan.org/lifespan-living/importance-mental-health-awareness-month
Women’s law.org (2021). Emotional and Psychological Abuse. https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/forms-abuse/emotional-and-psychological-abuse
Mechanic MB, Weaver TL, Resick PA. Mental health consequences of intimate partner abuse: a multidimensional assessment of four different forms of abuse. Violence Against Women. 2008 Jun;14(6):634-54. doi: 10.1177/1077801208319283. PMID: 18535306; PMCID: PMC2967430. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2967430/
Mayumi Okuda Benavides, M.D., Obianuju O. Berry, M.D., M.P.H., Molly Mangus(2019). Intimate Partner Violence A Guide for Psychiatrists Treating IPVSurvivors. American Phychiatry Association. https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/diversity/education/intimate-partner-violence
Michigan’s Domestic Violence Hotline. https://www.michigan.gov/mdhhs/safety-injury-prev/publicsafety/crimevictims/assistance/domestic-violence-hotline
Putting It Off Makes It More Apparent: LGBTQ+ Domestic Violence
June is pride month for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer (LGBTQ+) community in America. Joint Base Andrews states, "The federal government first recognized the month in 1999 when President Bill Clinton declared June 'Gay & Lesbian Pride Month.' In 2009, President Barack Obama declared June LGBT Pride Month. On 1 June 2021, President Joe Biden declared June LGBTQ Pride Month" (2023). These statements prove evolution for the community. However, severe issues, such as domestic violence is historically disregarded by society, state, and federal government.
Statistics
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Organization (NCADV), people in the LGBTQ+ community are mostly excluded from the domestic violence movement. This is because society, state, and federal government traditionally focused more on heterosexual relationships (2018). Statistics are tricky because a lot of cases are not reported. However, in 2018, the NCADV disclosed equal to greater percentages of LGBTQ+ members falling victim to domestic violence compared to heterosexual couples (2018).
Many forms of abuse are apparent in the statistics above. Violence is not limited to being sexually and physically abused; threats, insults, and stalking also fall into the category. Moreover, it is vital to mention that the LGBTQ+ community is a broad spectrum. This prior research may be outdated, but it is necessary to share. It showcases the need for more awareness. More stories need to be shared! More aid needs to be given!
Intersectionality and intersectional identities are within the LGBTQ+ community. Therefore, outside of being queer, Asians, Black and African Americans, Indigenous Persons, Latinos, and any other group that does not fit into the set standard, bear the inequity of more oppression. Black and African American victims are more prone to physical violence than other races and ethnicities. Transgender victims are more likely to be abused publicly as opposed to non-transgender persons. Bisexual victims are more likely to be sexually abused than non-bisexuals. Additionally, white victims are inclined to be sexually abused more than others in the community who do not identify as white. These statistics are real examples, but should not be limited to others that are not reported.
Treacherous Obstacles to Receive Help
The NCADV and the Women Advocates organization discuss several barriers the LGBTQ+ community experiences when seeking help. To reiterate, domestic violence is heavily portrayed as only a heterosexual problem. Homophobia, transphobia, and queerphobia are still apparent because they are minorities. Some fear they will be judged and mocked by service providers and non-LGBTQ+ domestic violence victims. "Will I be outed?" is a troubling concern. Some believe spreading awareness may detract from the community's societal progress. Lastly, being judged and hated for merely being who they are can diminish their confidence.
Federal and State Action
In 1994, the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) was passed to protect women from domestic violence; however, the federal government amended the act for LGBTQ+ victims (Samons, 2013). In 2013, VAWA was reauthorized for the third time, and made "major" advances to protect heterosexual and same-sex relationships, transgender people, illegal immigrants, and Native American women (Samons, 2013). Christina Samons explicitly provides examples from the act in "Same-Sex Domestic Violence: The Need for Affirmative Legal Protections at all Levels of Government. The original version of the act was vague and left room to exclude the community. Fortunately, President Barack Obama and his administration released an "official opinion" that broadly included everyone in 2010. The reauthorization debate was set in 2012 without progress until the next year.
The federal government made vital changes, but crime will not decrease if the state government does not follow suit. We can see the differences in application or requirements across different states. Generally, states protect families and criminal law statutes from domestic violence, and victims must fit the requirements to obtain a protection order (PPO). California and Hawaii are examples of inclusivity in the state. A person does not need to press charges for a protection order in California. Domestic violence statutes in Hawaii protect LGBTQ+ victims. However, minors (anyone under the age of 18) can only obtain a protection order if a family member or guardian applies for them.
In contrast to these more inclusive and progressive measures, Samons provides information about New York. Same-sex domestic violence is not a crime if the people involved are not family members despite having the largest population of same-sex couples almost 24 years ago. Samons states, "According to the New York Family Court Act of 2002, a domestic violence victim could petition for a protective order for crimes like assault and harassment" (Samons, 2013). The act benefited some same-sex relationships, but the violence had to fit under the umbrella; there were too many limitations.
Summary
- Domestic violence does not only affect heterosexual relationships.
- LGBTQ+ members are more likely to fall victim to domestic violence than heterosexual persons.
- The LGBTQ+ community has a broad spectrum, and statistics do not show that.
- The LGBTQ+ community is a minority and has subminorities.
- The LGBTQ+ community has many barriers when seeking and receiving aid.
- The federal government has acted more than the state government. Crime will not decrease because of it.
References
Strengthen Understanding and Support for Survivors
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and April 21-27 was National Crime Victims’ Rights Week (NCVRW). Every year in April, we celebrate this week to increase understanding about victimization and how crime affects survivors, their families, loved ones, friends, and communities. At Sylvia’s Place, we especially focus on supporting survivors of sexual assaults and intimate partner violence.
This year’s theme was ‘Building Connected Communities.‘ Survivors of sexual violence are subjected to various forms of victim blaming by society and experience stigma as victims on a daily basis. To gradually reduce this structure of victim blaming, it is important for the community as a whole to better understand and support survivors of sexual assault.
More than half of DV incidents are not reported
In 2022, according to the National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS), there were 951,930 intimate partner violence victimizations and 1,370,440 domestic violence victimizations, with nearly half of them not reported to police.
In Michigan alone, according to the Michigan State Police’s Incident Crime Report, 64,545 people have been victims of domestic violence, and members of LGBTQ+ communities face equal or higher risks of intimate partner violence compared to heterosexuals. Unfortunately, society remains unsafe, and those closest to us may be harmed.
How do we talk and provide support to survivors?
How should you respond if a friend, family member, or loved one who is important to you has been victimized and confides in you?
1. Acknowledgement and Empathy
It takes a lot of courage to open up about your experience of sexual victimization or intimate violence. The first thing to do is to thank them for sharing their experience. Then, it is important to show empathy by “acknowledging” their experience, not denying it, and showing empathy by saying,
“Thank you for sharing your painful experience with me. I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m sorry it had come to this.”
2. Providing Support
Communicating that you are always willing to listen can provide victims with a sense of security. The mere act of listening can be a great support, as it reminds victims that when they remember painful experiences, they have someone close at hand whom they can talk to. You can say,
” if you ever need to talk, I’m always here to listen and I care about you. Never feel alone.”
3. Believe the Victim’s Story
Eight out of ten perpetrators of sexual assault are people known to the victim or someone the victim knows, and 33% of sexual assaults are committed by a current or past intimate partner. Therefore, victims are constantly exposed to their own inner voice and public accusations that they may have been wronged. That is why it is so important to acknowledge the victim’s story and believe them.
“I believe you. You are not at fault, and what happened to you is absolutely unforgivable.”
Not being sure what to say to them is what happens when you don’t want to hurt your loved ones any more than they already are. Even if you are not able to say the perfect words, do not blame yourself. Often, family and friends who support the victim can also be under a lot of emotional strain during the support process. It is important that you offer as much support as you can and guide the victim to seek professional help.
Places Where You Can Consult
Sylvia’s Place 269-673-8700
Michigan Advocacy Program (734) 665-6181
Statewide Domestic Violence Hotline 1-866-864-2338
Michigan Domestic Violence Hotline 1-866-864-2338
the National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-HOPE
Outcenter in Michgan (Free counseling for supporting transgender, gender fluid, or gendernon-conforming folx) 1-269-815-0185
Reference
Victim Support Services (2024).What is National Crime Victims’ Rights Week. https://victimsupportservices.org/events/national-crime-victims-rights-week/
Bureau of Justice Statistics (2023), Criminal Victimization, 2022, NCJ 307089, BJS. https://bjs.ojp.gov/library/publications/criminal-victimization-2022
Ken Coleman Nessel says Michigan remains committed to supporting sexual violence survivors. Michigan Advance. https://michiganadvance.com/2024/03/25/nessel-says-michigan-remains-committed-to-supporting-sexual-violence-survivors/
RAINN (2024). Tips for Talking with Survivors of Sexual Assault. https://www.rainn.org/articles/tips-talking-survivors-sexual-assault#:~:text=Remind%20the%20survivor%2C%20maybe%20even,they%20are%20comfortable%20sharing%20it.
RAINN (2024).Perpetrators of Sexual Violence: Statistics. https://www.rainn.org/statistics/perpetrators-sexual-violence
Fig.2: SLII Strategies
Stalking is an attributable behavior. Ringing a doorbell or sending flowers isn’t illegal or stalking, but done with the purpose, directed at a specific person, which causes a reasonable person to feel fear, is stalking.
Behaviors and actions taken by stalkers typically fall into 4 categories. Most stalking overlap and occur concurrently. These tactics are called the "SLII Strategies": surveillance, live invasion, interference, and intimidation. Examples of these tactics can be seen in Fig.2.
Victims of stalkers are unlikely to actually use the word “stalk”. They describe the behavior as “scary” or leaves them feeling “afraid” or “threatened”. Listen for these behaviors!
Fig.3
Fig.2
