Introduction

Domestic violence and animal abuse intersect with one another more than you may know. This may be because animal abuse is historically separated from domestic abuse. Offenders can find countless ways to go through with the crime, either human or animal. This article will discuss them and more.

How are they linked?

Animals are beloved worldwide, especially pets, whether “a man’s best friend,” an emotionless emotional support cat, or even a greedy hamster. However, have you ever considered easily accessible wild animals, such as a woodchuck? Guess what? Hunting and harming animals can be linked to domestic violence. This is because the human victim is now more accessible than the wild victim.

Many people assume that animal abuse leads to human abuse. This is true for some cases; however, more offenders begin harming humans and then progress to animals. According to the FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin (LEB), one study showed that 16% of offenders began abusing animals before people.

Abusers get creative because they never want their “power” taken away. So what happens when they see even the slightest happiness radiate from their “prey?” Their blood boils like overflowing pasta water. They must destroy and conquer once again. Therefore, abusers will exploit a victim’s bond with their animal to continue manipulating, controlling, and punishing them.

What is considered animal abuse?

Again, abusers need to feel continuous control. They may buy the victim a pet, but take it away when angry. They may threaten, hurt, or kill the animal if the victim says they will leave. You may wonder, well how does that work? “It’s just an animal!” You may say. However, that is not the case and will never be. That “animal” is an animal, sure. However, the main thing is that it supports the victim. In Domestic Violence and Animal Welfare: The Science of Human-animal Interaction, Dolores Donovan shares how loneliness decreases when someone has a pet and sees it as a family, friend, or regular person. This is because the person projects human feelings, motives, and qualities on the animal, resulting in possible social support they would get from another person (Donovan 398). A lot of victims may have support from their families and friends but are too ashamed to tell them about their situation again or for the first time. Other victims may not have that worry at all. No problem is worse or better! Therefore, pets can be the sole support systems; they can’t talk back to you, but merely be there.

Physically harming the animal interferes with the victim psychologically because it can show what the abuser will do to them or remind them of when they were abused. Because of this, victims often remain in the violent relationship. According to LEB, 75% of women have reported their pets being abused by their offenders, with children witnessing 90% of the time. Moreover, studies have proved that 50% of all children are exposed to animal abuse. Nothing comes out of the blue! Therefore, these foul environments increase the risk of children becoming culprits. The LEB says it’s because they become desensitized and accepting of the abuse since it is familiar.

History and Laws Against Animal Cruelty

An animal at risk is a valid reason why a victim will stay with their abuser. Fortunately, many reports led to the Pet and Women Act (PAWS) in December 2018. According to LEB, the legislation provides housing assistance to domestic violence shelters. Also, victims have the will to protect their animals. This includes animals protected from interstate stalking, protection order violations, and restitution.

Also, the Preventing Animal Cruelty and Torture (PACT) Act protects animals from cruelty. Charlie Robinson and Victoria Clausen state that it is, “a federal law that prohibits the purposeful crushing, burning, drowning, suffocation, impalement, or other violent acts committed against animals, allowing the prosecution of crimes that affect interstate commerce or occur under federal jurisdictions” (Clausen, Robinson, 2021). The PACT Act is the first federal animal cruelty law to expand existing ones at the state level. The entire United States charges animal cruelty as a felony. However, penalties change from state to state. Most states only consider cats and dogs as pets, and others include birds, horses, and other animals. In 2016, “the FBI began tracking crimes against animals in the National Incident-Based Reporting System (NIBRS), in the same way it tracks other serious criminal offenses” (ALDF).

Before 2016, animal cruelty was a general crime in NIBRS. The data will help clarify who commits animal cruelty offenses, the most common animal cruelty jurisdictions, and associations with other crimes.

The Animal Legal Defense Fund (ALDF) provides several examples of how animal cruelty and human abuse are linked. In 1983, 88% of animal abuse was discovered during physical child abuse investigations. It is proved that children are most likely neglected and abused if they are cruel to animals. The Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals and Northwestern University found that animal abusers are 5 times as likely to harm people in a 1997 study. Another experiment (2013) showed that 43% of school shooters also committed animal cruelty; the animals were mostly cats and dogs. In 2017, 89% of women reported their pets were threatened, harmed, or killed by their abusers. ALDF reports that “more than half of women in domestic violence shelters report that they delayed their escape out of fear for their animals.” These experiments prove how animal abuse is linked to human abuse, and how it can delay a victim’s escape from an abuser.

Want Quick Facts? Check out this Infographic!

References

Donovan, D. (n.d.). Domestic Violence and Animal Welfare: The Science of Human-Animal Interaction. Pdf Document. Retrieved September 11, 2024, from file:///Users/arlanacamille/Downloads/DV%20and%20Animal%20Welfare%20-%20The%20Science%20of%20Human-Animal%20Interaction.pdf

Robinson, Charlie M.A, M.S., and Victoria Clausen M.A. “The Link Between Animal Cruelty and Human Violence.” Www.Leb.Fbi.Gov, 10 Aug. 2021, leb.fbi.gov/articles/featured-articles/the-link-between-animal-cruelty-and-human-violence. Accessed 11 Sept. 2024. 

“The Link Between Animal Cruelty to Animals and Violence Toward Humans.” Www.Aldf.Org, aldf.org/article/the-link-between-cruelty-to-animals-and-violence-toward-humans-2/. Accessed 11 Sept. 2024.

 May is the mental health awareness month! We need to focus on our mental health and increase awareness of how important it is. Mental health is an important part of our lives, however, there is still a stigma associated with mental health and it is looked over compared to physical health. Let’s take a deep breath here, and put our eyes on the mental well-being of ourselves, our families, and our loved ones.

Emotional and psychological abuses are more common in IPV

When you hear the words “intimate partner violence” or “domestic violence,” what immediately comes to mind is physical abuse or sexual assault. In reality, however, in cases of “intimate partner violence,” emotional and psychological abuse is more common and occurs more often than physical abuse. For example, research among North Carolina women (Smith et al., 2002) found that 18.4% of women experienced at least one form of intimate partner abuse. However, of those who experienced some form of abuse, only 1.9% experienced only physical assault, and only 1.1% experienced only sexual assault. In other words, it is not an exaggeration to say that emotional and psychological abuse is more prevalent than physical abuse and occurs more frequently than physical abuse.

What is emotional and psychological abuse?

There is no significant difference between them. It is just said that psychological abuse is a narrower definition than emotional abuse and psychological abuses include manipulative control behavior to the victims. Please look at an example of emotional and psychological abuse.

How does it destroy your mental health?

Survivors often internalize their partner’s verbal abuse. Even if they initially question their partner’s words and actions, as they continue to be verbally abused on a daily basis, they come to believe what their partner is saying. They then internalize the self-denial from others, believing that wrong ideas such as “I am stupid and worthless”. Even after they realize that this was emotional and mental abuse, they blame themselves for their situation and feel anger toward themselves. According to an article by American Phychiatiric Association, approximately 20% of IPV survivors have major depressive disorder (MDD), generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

What are the initial signs we can notice?

Emotional and psychological abuse is often difficult to recognize, especially in the early stages. If there is violent behavior from the beginning, it is not difficult to avoid, but in many cases, there is no particular problem initially. A partner who was kind to you at first may gradually begin to say and do things to mentally control you. Once under the abuser’s control, many victims find it difficult or impossible to get out of the situation. That is why it is important to recognize disturbing signs in the early stages.A person who inflicts emotional or physical abuse on a partner may show the following signs early in the relationship.

These are just a few examples. Emotional and psychological abuse can permeate your relationship with your partner and is difficult to recognize. If you have experienced this form of abuse, do not blame yourself. The abuse is not your fault. Even if your family or friends tell you that you are allowing yourself to be abused, the abuse is not your fault; it is the fault of the abuser. If you are being abused by a partner or family member, it is essential that you seek help and support to end the emotionally or psychologically abusive relationship.

Places Where You Can Consult

Sylvia’s Place 269-673-8700

the U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233

Michigan’s Domestic Violence Hotline (free and confidential resource for victims to call, text or chat) 1-866-VOICEDV

Reference

Lifespan (2024). The Importance of Mental Health Awareness Month. https://www.lifespan.org/lifespan-living/importance-mental-health-awareness-month
Women’s law.org (2021). Emotional and Psychological Abuse. https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/forms-abuse/emotional-and-psychological-abuse
Mechanic MB, Weaver TL, Resick PA. Mental health consequences of intimate partner abuse: a multidimensional assessment of four different forms of abuse. Violence Against Women. 2008 Jun;14(6):634-54. doi: 10.1177/1077801208319283. PMID: 18535306; PMCID: PMC2967430. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2967430/
Mayumi Okuda Benavides, M.D., Obianuju O. Berry, M.D., M.P.H., Molly Mangus(2019). Intimate Partner Violence A Guide for Psychiatrists Treating IPVSurvivors. American Phychiatry Association. https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/diversity/education/intimate-partner-violence
Michigan’s Domestic Violence Hotline. https://www.michigan.gov/mdhhs/safety-injury-prev/publicsafety/crimevictims/assistance/domestic-violence-hotline

 Strengthen Understanding and Support for Survivors

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and April 21-27 was National Crime Victims’ Rights Week (NCVRW). Every year in April, we celebrate this week to increase understanding about victimization and how crime affects survivors, their families, loved ones, friends, and communities. At Sylvia’s Place, we especially focus on supporting survivors of sexual assaults and intimate partner violence.

This year’s theme was ‘Building Connected Communities.‘ Survivors of sexual violence are subjected to various forms of victim blaming by society and experience stigma as victims on a daily basis. To gradually reduce this structure of victim blaming, it is important for the community as a whole to better understand and support survivors of sexual assault.

More than half of DV incidents are not reported

 In 2022, according to the National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS), there were 951,930 intimate partner violence victimizations and 1,370,440 domestic violence victimizations, with nearly half of them not reported to police.

In Michigan alone, according to the Michigan State Police’s Incident Crime Report, 64,545 people have been victims of domestic violence, and members of LGBTQ+ communities face equal or higher risks of intimate partner violence compared to heterosexuals. Unfortunately, society remains unsafe, and those closest to us may be harmed.

How do we talk and provide support to survivors?

How should you respond if a friend, family member, or loved one who is important to you has been victimized and confides in you?

1. Acknowledgement and Empathy

It takes a lot of courage to open up about your experience of sexual victimization or intimate violence. The first thing to do is to thank them for sharing their experience. Then, it is important to show empathy by “acknowledging” their experience, not denying it, and showing empathy by saying, 

“Thank you for sharing your painful experience with me. I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m sorry it had come to this.”

2. Providing Support

Communicating that you are always willing to listen can provide victims with a sense of security. The mere act of listening can be a great support, as it reminds victims that when they remember painful experiences, they have someone close at hand whom they can talk to. You can say,

” if you ever need to talk, I’m always here to listen and I care about you. Never feel alone.”

3. Believe the Victim’s Story

Eight out of ten perpetrators of sexual assault are people known to the victim or someone the victim knows, and 33% of sexual assaults are committed by a current or past intimate partner. Therefore, victims are constantly exposed to their own inner voice and public accusations that they may have been wronged. That is why it is so important to acknowledge the victim’s story and believe them. 

“I believe you. You are not at fault, and what happened to you is absolutely unforgivable.”

Not being sure what to say to them is what happens when you don’t want to hurt your loved ones any more than they already are. Even if you are not able to say the perfect words, do not blame yourself. Often, family and friends who support the victim can also be under a lot of emotional strain during the support process. It is important that you offer as much support as you can and guide the victim to seek professional help.

Places Where You Can Consult

Sylvia’s Place  269-673-8700

Michigan Advocacy Program  (734) 665-6181

Statewide Domestic Violence Hotline  1-866-864-2338

Michigan Domestic Violence Hotline  1-866-864-2338

the National Sexual Assault Hotline  1-800-656-HOPE 

Outcenter in Michgan (Free counseling for supporting transgender, gender fluid, or gendernon-conforming folx)   1-269-815-0185 

Reference

Victim Support Services (2024).What is National Crime Victims’ Rights Week. https://victimsupportservices.org/events/national-crime-victims-rights-week/

Bureau of Justice Statistics (2023), Criminal Victimization, 2022, NCJ 307089, BJS. https://bjs.ojp.gov/library/publications/criminal-victimization-2022

Ken Coleman (2024). Nessel says Michigan remains committed to supporting sexual violence survivors. Michigan Advance. https://michiganadvance.com/2024/03/25/nessel-says-michigan-remains-committed-to-supporting-sexual-violence-survivors/

RAINN (2024). Tips for Talking with Survivors of Sexual Assault. https://www.rainn.org/articles/tips-talking-survivors-sexual-assault#:~:text=Remind%20the%20survivor%2C%20maybe%20even,they%20are%20comfortable%20sharing%20it.

RAINN (2024).Perpetrators of Sexual Violence: Statistics. https://www.rainn.org/statistics/perpetrators-sexual-violence

A Love Like That

Teen Dating Violence (TDV) is a form of intimate-partner violence. The victim is a teenager, with the abuser most likely to be a teen as well. The violence can include but is not limited to physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, or stalking.

What is "That"?

What is Dating?

Aspects of a Healthy Relationship

Aspects of an Unhealthy Relationship

Practicing Self-Care

Relationships are hard to define at the best times. Sometimes you are unsure of how to classify the feelings between you and another. In this article, dating will be defined as an intimate relationship between two or more people. This may come in the form of—but not limited to—sexual, emotional, physical, or mental attraction. The relationship may be gay or straight, non-monogamous or monogamous, casual or serious.

A Healthy Relationship can include:

• Mutual respect and interest
• Feeling open and safe to talk to your partner(s), particularly about difficult topics
• Being honest with your partner(s), without the fear of retaliation or harm
• Equal say in decisions, with compromise when necessary
• Establishing boundaries, respecting them and feeling respected
• Having relationships, friends and family, outside of your partner(s)
• Practicing consent

 

No two relationships look the same, not even within polyamorous couples. However, every healthy relationship is built from the foundation of honesty, communication, respect, equality, and consent.

 

An Unhealthy Relationship can include:

• Your partner(s) disrespects, distrusts, and disregards you
• Fear of retaliation or harm
• Your partner(s) always having the final say despite your wishes
• Your partner(s) humiliate you, particularly in public or online
• Your partner(s) do not communicate their feelings
• Your partner(s) prevent you from having social connections outside of them

Abusive relationships are born out of unhealthy ones. Some actions can include mistreatment, accusations of cheating when there is none, isolating partner(s) completely from social connections, and enacting violence onto their partner(s). There is not a fine line to determine when a relationship becomes abusive. Regardless, abusive actions should never be tolerated or seen as normal. Everyone deserves a relationship free from violence and fear.

If you or a loved one believes that they are in an abusive relationship, please reach out to our phone number 269-673-8700

You must also take time to check in with yourself. You have a relationship between your body and mind. To take care of one begets the care of another.

When was the last time you did something for yourself? Big or small. These actions of caring for yourself fosters love within yourself. A healthy body, mind, and attitude makes a healthy person.

Take some time today to practice self-care

• Wear your favorite clothes
• Take a spa day to treat yourself
• Drink your favorite tea, coffee, etc and think about why you like that flavor
• Journal what ever is on your mind
• Take a walk outside and breathe in a deep breath

Anything that makes you feel relaxed or energized! You deserve a love like that!

Teens are an emotionally vulnerable population due to their developing brains, growing societal responsibilities, and naturally curious ventures into "adult" practices. In the practice of osmosis, they model what they have learned from adults and their peers. This modeling can be a double-edged sword, as without the proper education to inform them of safe practices versus non-safe, teens can engage in mean, dangerous, and even abusive behavior

In this digital age, information is click of button away. Feeds overloading the sense. News filling the ear. Connections and interactions--unmonitored and unfiltered--occur between the whole world. It is now, more than ever, to help teenagers learn what is a healthy relationship vs an unhealthy one, how to establish boundaries, and how to navigate the difficult world of adult relationships.

Consent:

Consent is key to a healthy relationship. More often, people bring up "consent" in a relationship when talking about physical intimacy (kissing, sex, etc). However, consent is practiced everywhere. When you are asking to enter into another person's personal life, personal space, knowledge of their thoughts or feelings. When you ask "can I?", you are asking for consent to proceed.

Planned Parenthood made a handy little acronym to remember how to practice consent: FRIES

F: Freely Given

The person being asked must freely give consent. This should be done without pressure, manipulation, or under the influence of drugs or alcohol. The person should consider if they truly want to proceed. It is always a choice.

The person(s) asking should remember the importance of accepting a 'no'.

R: Reversible

Anyone can change their mind at any time. It does not matter if they said "yes" at first, have done it before, or were just 'getting to the good part'. The consent can be revoked. The person(s) asking should accept the change. Pressuring them into reconsidering or saying "but we already started" or "you already said yes" is makes the answer no longer freely given, thus making it NOT consent.

I: Informed

Consent needs information. In regards to sex, a partner not disclosing any STDs, birth control, or condom use is not informed. Being open and honest with one another creates the best way to make the best decision. Sharing information can be scary, but being informed is being safe!

E: Enthusiastic

No one wants to do something that they don't enjoy. Doing something out of obligation does not make it fun.

S: Specific

It should be clear what you're doing. There's nothing wrong with going will the flow. However, when a big step is about to be taken, then asking "may I xxx?" gives a specific answer to a specific action. Someone saying 'yes' to kissing does not mean that they are saying 'yes' to sex.

Also, it does not matter if they said  gave consent in the past for the same action. Consent is about the here-and-now.

 

Boundaries:

Boundaries can be a bit scary. The word evokes a definite separation that can feel like putting an insurmountable barrier of crosswire and hatch between two things. Countries' boundaries are engraved, artificially crafted lines that inform ownership on either side. Boundaries in sports inform the designated area where the game can be played, with a loud whistle blown the second its crossed. In older video games, boundaries can be invisible walls that you didn't know where there until your character slams into an invisible space.

These types of boundaries create an idea of immovable, invisible, and uninformed barriers that you have to know immediately or face immediate repercussions. The sticky truth is that boundaries are amorphous, shifting between needs and wants of the individual; are learned, sometimes you do not know you have a boundary until it is crossed; and practiced, constantly enforced until they become second nature.

Boundaries are not always a big line in the sand. More often than not, they can be small actions or words or thoughts that communicate your needs. For example, you have a special pen that you like. You always use this pen. One day, your partner uses this pen without asking first. It makes you feel upset because they used your pen without asking and you feel like they mistreated your special pen.

Maybe you didn't tell them not to use this pen before. Maybe it never crossed your mind to tell them. Maybe they were a bit thoughtless in not asking. Maybe they did or didn't know it was your favorite pen. These are all factors that can inform the situation, but your feelings still exist. In some capacity, you feel like a boundary was crossed by not asking for permission to use a very special item.

The pen example may seem small, but it a drop in the macrocosmic relationship. Ultimately, you can find mediation between this event. You can explain why you felt upset. Your partner can apologize, and explain their side. You can come to a resolution and understanding. The boundary may have been crossed, but it can be remedied.

However, the issue of respecting the boundaries comes where your partner keeps using your pen after talking to them. They aren't respecting the request you made. Maybe in addition, they then use your blanket, or food, or car, or phone. The crossing of boundaries escalates and the disrespect increases. This is now unhealthy into abusive behavior.

Stats Like That

Stats about the Relationship

The Individuals

How to Talk to Teens?

 

15% of teenage romantic relationships start online.

Tienda, Goldberg and Westreich found that most teenage relationships are in-person, and are with people that the teen meets at school (2022). However, the nuance of this fact says that teens who felt more comfortable or 'fit in' at school were more likely to create in-person romantic relationships than their 'less-sociable' peers. Also, the study found a gendered aspect in that less sociably-comfortable girls were more likely to initiate online relationships.

This does not discount social media as an important tool for initiating or maintaining relationships, however. Internet and social media was the second-most used way to initiate and maintain friends and partners (Tienda, Goldberg and Westreich 2022). Furthermore, teen are more likely to express romantic intentions by interacting the person's social media (e.g. Facebook-friending, liking or commenting posts, DMing) (Pew Research 2015).

The concept of social media apps as a whole must be acknowledged. Avenues of connection have only broadened with social media apps--Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Discord, Snapchat, Telegram, and more. A significant part of their lives are on social media. In a 2020 Pew Research Center article, 70% of respondents between the ages of 18-29 say that they use social media to check up on someone they used to date/be together with, and 48% of that age bracket say that they use social media to share or discuss their current relationship or dating life. Also, younger American adults were more likely to use social media as a way to express how important their relationships are and were more likely to feel insecure or jealous about their partner's social media use.

It is not a reach to extrapolate that data to say that teenagers with access to these apps would participate in these behaviors. In a 2022 study by the Mayo Clinic, 35% of teens use at least one of five social media apps (YT, TikTok, FB, IG, or SC) multiple times a day.

 

50% of teenagers report harassment and stalking

Stalking is dangerous. As we discussed in January (National Stalking Awareness Month), 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men have been victims of stalking in their lifetime. While the literature is limited, studies show that adolescents are more likely to be stalked than adults (SPARC 2022). Being stalked or experiencing dating violence leads adolescents to withdraw from activities that they previously found pleasurable to avoid contact with a stalker. This limits their social connections, support, and people to talk to.

 

65% of teenagers report psychological abuse

In one nationally representative study of young people ages 14 to 21, 51% of females and 43% of males reported being victims of at least one type of dating violence, while 50% of females and 35% of males reported perpetrating at least one type (Ybarra 2016).

 

_{Lenhard, A., Anderson, M., Smith, A. (2015). Teens, Technology, and Romantic Relationships. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2015/10/01/teens-technology-and-romantic-relationships/} 

_{Mayo Clinic Staff. (2024) Teens and social media use: What's the Impact?. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/tween-and-teen-health/in-depth/teens-and-social-media-use/art20474437}

_{Tienda, M., Goldberg, R. E., Westreich, J. R. (2022). Adolescents' Partner Search in the Digital Age: Correlates and Characteristics of Relationships Initiated Online. Journal of youth and adolescence, 51(3), 393–408. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-021-01557-2}

_{Vogels, E., Anderson, Monica (2020). Dating and Relationships in the Digital Age. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/05/08/dating-and-relationships-in-the-digital-age/}

_{Ybarra, M. (2016) Lifetime Prevalence Rates and Overlap of Physical, Psychological, and Sexual Dating Abuse Perpetration and Victimization in a National Sample of Youth. Arch Sex Behav 45, 1083–1099. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-016-0748-9}

Open in New Window

1 in 10 high school students

have experienced physical violence from their dating partner in the last year

1 in 10 high school students

have experienced sexual violence form their dating partner in the last year

 

The cycle of abuse starts at a young age. 1 in 5 women and 1 in 7 men who experienced rape, physical violence, and stalking by an intimate partner first experienced some form of partner violence between 11 and 17 years of age.

Adolescents who experienced dating violence were more likely to experience symptoms of depression and anxiety; be more withdrawn and antisocial; and engage in unhealthy behaviors (e.g. drug, alcohol, or tobacco use); and suicidal ideation.

Adolescents who experience safe teen dating and have positive peer relationships are more likely to experience improved school performance; improved interpersonal skills (e.g. communication, negotiation, and empathy); positive self image and reduced unhealthy behaviors (e.g. drug use, anti-socialness).

_{from the CDC's Fast Facts about Preventing Teen Dating Violence and LoveIsRespect's 2024 TDVAM Action Guide}

It is may be difficult, but teens best benefit from open communication themselves. It is critical for the adolescents and teens to learn how to build and maintain healthy relationships. While it is human nature to meet and talk to people, it takes skills to make healthy relationships. Here are some ways to build the skills for teens:

Teach: What is a healthy relationship? Does the teen have healthy relationship role models to look to? What do they know?

Talk: Studies show that teens respond better to open communication. They want to know the 'why' of rules rather than hearing 'because I said so'. Clear expectations give teens tangible results to which they compare their actions or relationships. Saying 'I don't like you dating XXX because I see you withdrawing from your friends' gives the teen an idea of what is right and wrong in a relationship.

Empower: Trust in what they know. Teens know their situation very well. Remind them to listen to their inner voice instead of outside pressures. When they say something, support what they are feeling. They might not have the words to explain what they are feeling or the experience to know what to do. That's why they need someone on their side to support them when they make a decision, and someone to help pick them up when the decision was wrong.

Empathetic: Teens won't always make the best decisions. They are still learning, they are always human. Remembering to be empathetic to their mistakes and guide them to better practices rather than punishing them can foster a safe relationships. This is a practice of 'harm reduction' rather than 'zero tolerance'.

Know It. Name It. Stop It.

January is National Stalking Awareness Month. Stalking is often portrayed in media as a hooded, black-cladded individual following a person at night. The trope of the “secret admirer” love-bombing the victim and sending dangerous, threatening messages. While these may happen, these depictions of stalking are rare and largely misrepresents the dangers of stalking. That obviously leads to the question, what is stalking?

Stalking is a willful pattern of behavior, directed at a specific person, that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear, threatened, and terrorized, and have been so. Stalking is a federal crime: punishable in all 50 states, U.S. territories, and military installations. Depending on the state, the offense may be a misdemeanor or a felony. In Michigan, stalking is generally a misdemeanor.

Fig.2: SLII Strategies

Stalking is an attributable behavior. Ringing a doorbell or sending flowers isn’t illegal or stalking, but done with the purpose, directed at a specific person, which causes a reasonable person to feel fear, is stalking.

Behaviors and actions taken by stalkers typically fall into 4 categories. Most stalking overlap and occur concurrently. These tactics are called the "SLII Strategies": surveillance, live invasion, interference, and intimidation. Examples of these tactics can be seen in Fig.2.

Victims of stalkers are unlikely to actually use the word “stalk”. They describe the behavior as “scary” or leaves them feeling “afraid” or “threatened”. Listen for these behaviors!

 

As stated in The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence survey (Smith, Basile, Kresnow 2022), nearly 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men (Fig.2) reported stalking victimization at some point in their life. Furthermore, 1 in 15 women and 1 in 24 men reported stalking in the past twelve months at the time of the survey.

Fig.3

Fig.2

Across the board, women are more likely to be stalked. Men are more likely to be stalkers, regardless of the gender of the victim. Another misconception is that the stalker is a stranger, following the victim from afar. Rather, between 40% to 45% of stalkers are acquaintances or current/former partners (Fig.3).
This is true for male and female victims.

It is not your fault as a victim, nor as a bystander. It is the stalker who must take accountability for their actions against another. This does not mean that the victim, nor bystander is helpless to the whims of the stalker.

The bystander effect is real, and should not be overshadowed in the discussion of how to stop stalking.

Don’t Downplay or Minimize

Acknowledge the behaviors for what it really is: “It is stalking”

Believe the victim when they say they’re being stalked.

Documentation!

Help the victim to document the events: time, place, location, witnesses, and evidence

Take note of instances you see yourself as well

Learn more about Stalking Awareness.

What do Survivors Say? - The Loud Silence of the Clothesline Project

Domestic Violence is often referred to as a 'hidden crisis'. The intimate nature of the crime shrouds the act of it in layers of access. One cannot tell from the outside when a victim is suffering. Furthermore, victims often have their power and control taken away from them. They are screaming, but no sound escapes.

A victim finds the strength to take the first step out of the situation. They make a call or look up a shelter that could help. That is how they often find Sylvia's Place. We are here as a first-order resource for those escaping intimate-partner violence.

After walking through our housing and resource process, while have a safe place to rebuild their lives, victims leave Sylvia's Place as survivors, ready for the next step in their life. Now, they have taken back control for themselves.

It is in this moment, we ask the survivors if they would like to write on a shirt for the Clothesline Project. By marking their words on a shirt, survivors have the chance to excise their demons, reclaim their voice, and share their story.

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Participating for 2023 - Allegan Community Supports Survivors

As October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we honor the shirts during the entire month. This year, the Clothesline Project was hosted around Allegan City.

It's first stop was City Hall from Oct 6th - 13th. The City of Allegan offered its lobby, with the window space in front of Trowbridge Street.

The next stop was the entrance hall to the City Police Department. In conjunction with the Clothesline Project, we also planted flags to a portion of the clients we serviced in the past year.

The Clothesline Project was next hosted by the Allegan District Library. They graciously offered their Community Art wall.

Finally, rounding out the month, our Clothesline Project settles in the Sheriff County Department.

Thank You!

Thank you to City Hall, the City Police, the Library, and Sheriff's Office for hosting the Clothesline Project this year!

Thank you to all who saw the Clothesline Project!

Sylvia’s Place is excited to see our Fall Fest 2023 to come to a joyous end. 

After months in the planning, we settled down the night of October 12th to enjoy the festivities. The Silo’s banquet space offered plenty of room to display items of our Silent Auction. We also had a fun photo event, where you could get your photo green-screened into a variety of exciting backgrounds! 

The heavy hors d’oeuvres this year included seafood options such as crab-stuffed mushrooms and shrimp; wonderful vegetarian sides like spinach and artichoke dip, arrangement of carrots, celery and dipping sauces; and snack bites. Dessert was provided by our local coffeehouse and cafe, Mugshots.

We are full of thanks to everyone who made this possible.

Thank you to our sponsors, especially our Title Sponsor, Tibbitts Financial Consulting.

Thank you to our volunteers from Huntington Bank.

Thank you to our Board of Directors for putting this together.

And a huge Thank You! to everyone who attended. Fall Fest would not be as amazing as it was without you .

We hope to see you next year!

Sylvia Allen was born on May 27, 1960, the daughter of an Allegan county resident, the middle child of nine. She later had five children of her own: LaTanya, Katy, Althella, Termaine, and Kira; like every mother, she wanted to provide a good life for them.

After her mother died, Sylvia moved to Pullman, Michigan to be closer to her father, and found a house that could accommodate her five children. The landlord, who was reluctant to rent to a family with so many children, became pleased with the quality maintenance of Sylvia’s home. People commented that she was a meticulous housekeeper: “You would never have known five children lived there; it was so tidy!”

After living in Michigan about a year, Sylvia met and started dating a young man. As the relationship developed he became more controlling and possessive of her. Over time it escalated to physical violence and beatings. Sylvia told only a few people about her situation; shame silences victims of domestic violence. But she knew she had to take the steps necessary to regain her life. Sylvia wanted to get out.

She took advantage of nearby opportunities and pursued a GED through the Adult Education Program at Pearl School. Sylvia was an eager and bright student; she graduated in the late winter of 1988 at the top of her class and started making plans to go to college. Sylvia was full of hope. She had a mission. Along with getting an education, Sylvia learned how to drive and received her driver’s license. She was going places.

Her new-found independence and self-esteem threatened her boyfriend; he was losing control of her. Their relationship reached a crisis point when Sylvia learned of the pregnancy of a 16 year-old girl — her boyfriend was the father. Sylvia fought to break off the relationship and refused to see him. However, he soon retaliated. On the night of January 20, 1989, Sylvia’s boyfriend kidnapped her and held her hostage in a wooded field near her home throughout the night. By early morning, Sylvia had convinced him to allow her to return home. After escaping from him, she went to her father’s house and called the Michigan State Police, but they were unable to fine him.

On January 21, Sylvia and her father began the large task of moving her possessions out of her home. Everyone was scurrying about packing, when the telephone rang, Sylvia answered it and as she spoke, a gunshot blast went off. Her boyfriend shot her in the temple; he had hidden in the house waiting for her to return. Sylvia was pronounced dead on arrival at Allegan General Hospital, a victim of domestic violence. She was 28 years old.

This is why Sylvia’s Place exists.

If you would like to make a donation to support vital services for survivors of intimate partner violence, donate here.