For a victim of domestic violence, remaining in an abusive relationship is less about choosing to stay and more about trying to find the best way to cope and survive within a hostage-like environment. While at first glance it appears that leaving is a no brainer, the situation is often more complex than just choosing to step out the door. Here are just a few of the reasons why someone might stay within a violent situation:

She may have been threatened
Abusers often use threats of violence to keep their significant other from leaving – attempting to escape is often the most dangerous time for women being abused.

She may not know where to go
If someone has been isolated from her family and friends, or if it’s not safe to go to them, she may not know where else to turn for the crucial support she needs to leave the brutality.

She may try to stay for her children
To give her kids a sense of relative normalcy and stability, she may decide to stick it out, enduring beatings and verbal assaults for the sake of the children.

Visit our page “Domestic Violence” to learn more about the barriers to leaving.

Every survivor needs our nonjudgmental support. We can offer resources, a listening ear, a place to stay. But the decision to leave must be hers and hers alone. In a situation where her batterer is constantly seeking to control, the best contrast we can offer is that of someone who doesn’t want to control but who seeks to support.

If you or someone you know is being abused, our crisis line is open 24/7 and can be reached at 269-673-8700. Sylvia’s Place offers emergency shelter for survivors of intimate partner violence, along with supportive residential and nonresidential services.