15% of teenage romantic relationships start online.

Tienda, Goldberg and Westreich found that most teenage relationships are in-person, and are with people that the teen meets at school (2022). However, the nuance of this fact says that teens who felt more comfortable or 'fit in' at school were more likely to create in-person romantic relationships than their 'less-sociable' peers. Also, the study found a gendered aspect in that less sociably-comfortable girls were more likely to initiate online relationships.

This does not discount social media as an important tool for initiating or maintaining relationships, however. Internet and social media was the second-most used way to initiate and maintain friends and partners (Tienda, Goldberg and Westreich 2022). Furthermore, teen are more likely to express romantic intentions by interacting the person's social media (e.g. Facebook-friending, liking or commenting posts, DMing) (Pew Research 2015).

The concept of social media apps as a whole must be acknowledged. Avenues of connection have only broadened with social media apps--Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Discord, Snapchat, Telegram, and more. A significant part of their lives are on social media. In a 2020 Pew Research Center article, 70% of respondents between the ages of 18-29 say that they use social media to check up on someone they used to date/be together with, and 48% of that age bracket say that they use social media to share or discuss their current relationship or dating life. Also, younger American adults were more likely to use social media as a way to express how important their relationships are and were more likely to feel insecure or jealous about their partner's social media use.

It is not a reach to extrapolate that data to say that teenagers with access to these apps would participate in these behaviors. In a 2022 study by the Mayo Clinic, 35% of teens use at least one of five social media apps (YT, TikTok, FB, IG, or SC) multiple times a day.

50% of teenagers report harassment and stalking

Stalking is dangerous. As we discussed in January (National Stalking Awareness Month), 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men have been victims of stalking in their lifetime. While the literature is limited, studies show that adolescents are more likely to be stalked than adults (SPARC 2022). Being stalked or experiencing dating violence leads adolescents to withdraw from activities that they previously found pleasurable to avoid contact with a stalker. This limits their social connections, support, and people to talk to.

65% of teenagers report psychological abuse

In one nationally representative study of young people ages 14 to 21, 51% of females and 43% of males reported being victims of at least one type of dating violence, while 50% of females and 35% of males reported perpetrating at least one type (Ybarra 2016).

_{Lenhard, A., Anderson, M., Smith, A. (2015). Teens, Technology, and Romantic Relationships. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2015/10/01/teens-technology-and-romantic-relationships/} 

_{Mayo Clinic Staff. (2024) Teens and social media use: What's the Impact?. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/tween-and-teen-health/in-depth/teens-and-social-media-use/art20474437}

_{Tienda, M., Goldberg, R. E., Westreich, J. R. (2022). Adolescents' Partner Search in the Digital Age: Correlates and Characteristics of Relationships Initiated Online. Journal of youth and adolescence, 51(3), 393–408. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-021-01557-2}

_{Vogels, E., Anderson, Monica (2020). Dating and Relationships in the Digital Age. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/05/08/dating-and-relationships-in-the-digital-age/}

_{Ybarra, M. (2016) Lifetime Prevalence Rates and Overlap of Physical, Psychological, and Sexual Dating Abuse Perpetration and Victimization in a National Sample of Youth. Arch Sex Behav 45, 1083–1099. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-016-0748-9}

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1 in 10 high school students

have experienced physical violence from their dating partner in the last year

1 in 10 high school students

have experienced sexual violence form their dating partner in the last year

The cycle of abuse starts at a young age. 1 in 5 women and 1 in 7 men who experienced rape, physical violence, and stalking by an intimate partner first experienced some form of partner violence between 11 and 17 years of age.

Adolescents who experienced dating violence were more likely to experience symptoms of depression and anxiety; be more withdrawn and antisocial; and engage in unhealthy behaviors (e.g. drug, alcohol, or tobacco use); and suicidal ideation.

Adolescents who experience safe teen dating and have positive peer relationships are more likely to experience improved school performance; improved interpersonal skills (e.g. communication, negotiation, and empathy); positive self image and reduced unhealthy behaviors (e.g. drug use, anti-socialness).

_{from the CDC's Fast Facts about Preventing Teen Dating Violence and LoveIsRespect's 2024 TDVAM Action Guide}

It is may be difficult, but teens best benefit from open communication themselves. It is critical for the adolescents and teens to learn how to build and maintain healthy relationships. While it is human nature to meet and talk to people, it takes skills to make healthy relationships. Here are some ways to build the skills for teens:

Teach: What is a healthy relationship? Does the teen have healthy relationship role models to look to? What do they know?

Talk: Studies show that teens respond better to open communication. They want to know the 'why' of rules rather than hearing 'because I said so'. Clear expectations give teens tangible results to which they compare their actions or relationships. Saying 'I don't like you dating XXX because I see you withdrawing from your friends' gives the teen an idea of what is right and wrong in a relationship.

Empower: Trust in what they know. Teens know their situation very well. Remind them to listen to their inner voice instead of outside pressures. When they say something, support what they are feeling. They might not have the words to explain what they are feeling or the experience to know what to do. That's why they need someone on their side to support them when they make a decision, and someone to help pick them up when the decision was wrong.

Empathetic: Teens won't always make the best decisions. They are still learning, they are always human. Remembering to be empathetic to their mistakes and guide them to better practices rather than punishing them can foster a safe relationships. This is a practice of 'harm reduction' rather than 'zero tolerance'.